| Written by Alexis K. |
Up until the spring semester of my junior year, I considered my life perfect. My family was supportive, I had an amazing circle of friends, a great relationship, and I was maintaining my grades and managing my classes with ease. My very first week back to school after winter break, I found out my dog’s kidneys were failing. He was 15 years old and had been by my side ever since I could remember. Shortly thereafter he had to be put down and it really took a toll on my family. I hated being at home, I felt so empty and full of anxiety.
About a week later, I was dumped and my relationship of almost three years ended abruptly and unexpectedly. I was shocked and hurt and I barely knew who I was without him. I felt like a huge piece of me had been ripped away after these two losses. With the stress and emotions of these losses building up, I was breaking down in tears at work, could barely focus on class, and didn’t have a normal eating or sleeping schedule. My motivation dropped, and my grades on the first few assignments of the semester reflected that.
I knew I had to get myself together. I had way too many goals and responsibilities to let myself suffer too intensely over these setbacks. So, here I am, sharing how I got through these lows, if you ever have to deal with your own lows, losses, setbacks.
Let yourself hurt.
I know this might sound ridiculous or counterproductive, but you genuinely do have to let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling. Bottling it up or acting like you’re okay when you’re not is just going to do more harm than good. Put on the sad playlist, take a day-long nap, cry your eyes out, but just don’t let it consume you. Remember to pull yourself out of it by taking a long shower, eating your favorite food, or switching to that happy playlist.
Don’t be afraid to seek help.
For me, talking to my friends got pretty old, pretty fast. I felt as though I was burdening them and I just wanted to talk to someone who had no biases about the situation. Also, I knew that I’d been dealing with some level of anxiety for a long time, so it was just the right moment to talk to someone. I called Health Services and had an appointment that same week. They were extremely helpful. Never be afraid to talk with someone about how you’re feeling.
Submerge yourself in what makes you happy.
It’s going to be really tempting to just stay in bed, avoid social activities, and wallow. You can do this for a little while, but then, remember what makes you happy and do it! For me, it was taking my Jeep out for a ride, going out with my friends, reconnecting with people I haven’t spoken to in a long time, and shopping. I started spending more time with my family, I treated myself to a massage, I got my nails done, and I cooked my favorite meals. Slowly but surely, my mood started to shift from mostly sad with some happy moments to mostly happy with some sad moments.
Stay positive.
This is the most cliché thing to say, but it’s a mindset to live by. Staying positive and looking forward truly does help. I just kept telling myself, “Everything happens for a reason,” “One door closes so another can open,” and other sayings like that. Once you tell yourself enough, you genuinely start to believe it. I kept focusing on the good things in my life, such as my family, friends, and all the opportunities I’ve been given over the years. I also focused on the good things to come, like my 21st birthday and my spring break trip to Florida. Keeping my thoughts positive made it easier for me to justify my situation and think in a more rational way.