| Written by Ashley S. |
Heyooo, my dudes!
An old friend once told me, “the worst thing you can ever do is lose yourself.” At the time, I didn’t really understand him, but what he said was very much true.
Maybe you haven’t been yourself in awhile. Maybe your best friend stabbed you in the back, or you didn’t get the job of your dreams. Perhaps the love of your life hurt you so badly that you think you can never love again. Or maybe, the stress of school has been driving you insane—the deadlines, the assignments due every other day—or those classic family problems are looming over your head. If you’ve experienced any or all of these things, welcome to real life, my friend. You better put your seat belt on because this journey is going to be one helluva ride.
It’s so easy to become swept away by all of the chaos life brings along, so it’s really important to stay grounded and keep reminding yourself of all the positive things in life. If you ever feel lost and need to find yourself, keep these things in mind. Here’s how I believe you can make it over those bumpy roads:
Self-love and self-care
It’s essential. I cannot stress that enough. But once you appreciate yourself and come to accept you for who you are, you’ll have more clarity in life. Doubting yourself, especially your own abilities, can only hurt your self-esteem. Instead, start trusting yourself more. It can be as simple as hyping yourself up before an interview or practicing positive affirmations to tackle the anxiety before a big test.
Focusing on your goals
Trust me, my dude, if you have a dream to become something in life, you better go and get it. The feeling when you accomplish something you have always wanted to is like no other.
Forgiving yourself
I meant it. Forgive yourself for all the things you couldn’t be, all the people you couldn’t impress. Be content and humbled by what you’ve already done. You are enough.
Spending alone time
It’s okay to be alone. In fact, if you can enjoy your own company, it will bring you to a whole new level of comfort with yourself. Self-reflection is also a good way to improve your flaws or weakness and turn them into strengths, something you’ll be proud of. Alone time allows you to do that.
Moving on
It’s time to move on—one of the hardest pills to swallow. Cut toxic people that tear you down or block you in any way from reaching your dreams, it will benefit you in the long run. What’s the point of keeping someone around or doing something that no longer serves you, no longer helps you grow?
Being open to change
Be open to change and don’t take criticism personally. Instead of getting offended, turn your weaknesses into your strengths. Just remember, if someone points out your faults, it’s usually because they care enough about you and see your potential to change. It’s definitely a journey to become the best person you can be, with a lot of adjusting along the way.
Surrounding yourself with family and friends
Having a good support system is key to bouncing back from anything. Stay close to the ones that feel like sunshine. Genuine, trustworthy people can be hard to come by, so stick by them and be sure that you are one for others, as well.
Being nice to yourself
Sometimes the meanest person we know is ourselves. So, when you don’t get the promotion you wanted or you get rejected by someone you like, you have to learn to silence the inner critic inside of you and let yourself be human.
Saving yourself
I know the world needs saving, but it’s perfectly fine if you are the only person that you end up saving. Sometimes, you have to switch your mindset into thinking that losses are gains in disguise. Every struggle, every trial and obstacle, every single mistake, look at them as lessons.
Being okay with not finding yourself
If you have no idea how to find (or come back to) yourself, that’s completely okay, too. In fact, that’s the fun part. The greatest mystery is finding out who we are and what our purposes are. Our experiences are true indicators of who we are, it’s just a matter of realizing that. And, maybe, at the end of the day, you don’t change into someone completely different, you just wake up and you’re you.
I’m a believer in the healing power of music, so here are links to two of my favorite songs.